Way Station

Go down

Way Station Empty Way Station

Post  Johnstone McGuckian on Thu Apr 28, 2011 2:55 am

I've been working on this idea for a while, trying to devise a hypothetical TV show. The result is Way Station. What I'm posting now is a very unedited first draft. I've already made a bit of progress on the second.

All feedback much appreciated.

Wat Station - Pulse
Johnstone McGuckian
Johnstone McGuckian
The Guv'nor
The Guv'nor

Posts : 100
Join date : 2011-04-28
Age : 27
Location : Macclesfield

http://writingroom.forumotion.co.uk

Back to top Go down

Way Station Empty Re: Way Station

Post  writingmum on Fri Apr 29, 2011 6:55 am

Pretty fast pace stuff.

This is your first draft, but i thought I'd mention a few things.

You don't need all the 'we' s at the beginning of the script. I think you drop them later on, but I found it very distracting initially.

Also you drop into past tense at times. Drop all your 'ings' and it'll work better. 'Venger is walking along the corridor'. Should be - Venger walks along the corridor.

With regards to you characters names, I would drop the first names (or the last) just call them Venger, Prepp etc. '

When you do O/S you put it next to the character name: Venger O/S rather than the line below.

Just some observations. Hope you don't mind.

I liked the idea and it is certainly pacy.

Good luck with it.
Wendy

writingmum
writingmum
Novelist
Novelist

Posts : 53
Join date : 2011-04-28
Age : 57
Location : Bristol

Back to top Go down

Way Station Empty Re: Way Station

Post  Johnstone McGuckian on Mon May 02, 2011 8:35 pm

Thanks for the feedback. I've taken all of this into account and I'm currently polishing up the second draft which should be posted sometime soon.

_________________
The Guv'nor
Johnstone McGuckian
Johnstone McGuckian
The Guv'nor
The Guv'nor

Posts : 100
Join date : 2011-04-28
Age : 27
Location : Macclesfield

http://writingroom.forumotion.co.uk

Back to top Go down

Way Station Empty Re: Way Station

Post  Johnstone McGuckian on Mon May 02, 2011 8:43 pm


_________________
The Guv'nor
Johnstone McGuckian
Johnstone McGuckian
The Guv'nor
The Guv'nor

Posts : 100
Join date : 2011-04-28
Age : 27
Location : Macclesfield

http://writingroom.forumotion.co.uk

Back to top Go down

Way Station Empty Re: Way Station

Post  writingmum on Mon May 02, 2011 11:03 pm

Johnstone McGuckian wrote:

Enjoy Smile


Way to go! Very professionally laid out. I haven't had time to read it again, but I will.
Wendyx
writingmum
writingmum
Novelist
Novelist

Posts : 53
Join date : 2011-04-28
Age : 57
Location : Bristol

Back to top Go down

Way Station Empty Re: Way Station

Post  Johnstone McGuckian on Mon May 09, 2011 9:25 pm

I am really considering sending this to the BBC Writers' Room, however it needs to be pretty much perfect before I do, so please suggest away whatever I can improve upon.

_________________
The Guv'nor
Johnstone McGuckian
Johnstone McGuckian
The Guv'nor
The Guv'nor

Posts : 100
Join date : 2011-04-28
Age : 27
Location : Macclesfield

http://writingroom.forumotion.co.uk

Back to top Go down

Way Station Empty Re: Way Station

Post  writingmum on Tue May 10, 2011 10:16 pm

Johnstone McGuckian wrote:I am really considering sending this to the BBC Writers' Room, however it needs to be pretty much perfect before I do, so please suggest away whatever I can improve upon.

They are a good destination. I'm waiting to hear on one of my scripts.
Good luck with it.
W
writingmum
writingmum
Novelist
Novelist

Posts : 53
Join date : 2011-04-28
Age : 57
Location : Bristol

Back to top Go down

Way Station Empty Re: Way Station

Post  Johnstone McGuckian on Mon May 16, 2011 11:20 am

Finally making progress on both the second episode and the third draft of Pulse.

Episode two will be called 'Snowpoint Seven'

_________________
The Guv'nor
Johnstone McGuckian
Johnstone McGuckian
The Guv'nor
The Guv'nor

Posts : 100
Join date : 2011-04-28
Age : 27
Location : Macclesfield

http://writingroom.forumotion.co.uk

Back to top Go down

Way Station Empty Re: Way Station

Post  Johnstone McGuckian on Wed Oct 05, 2011 9:06 pm

I'm still going with this one! First draft of Snowpoint Seven done and I'm quite pleased with it, I prefer it to Pulse. I'm currently taking a break from actually writing it to focus on a series bible kind of thing. Teaching myself new things is always fun.

Snowpoint Seven will be posted soon!

_________________
The Guv'nor
Johnstone McGuckian
Johnstone McGuckian
The Guv'nor
The Guv'nor

Posts : 100
Join date : 2011-04-28
Age : 27
Location : Macclesfield

http://writingroom.forumotion.co.uk

Back to top Go down

Way Station Empty Re: Way Station

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum